Blog Moved...

For those of my faithful readers (all 3 of you -- haha), I have moved my blog from Blogger to Wordpress. You can find it HERE. :)

Filling the Time...

Since Seth has been gone, we have been going nonstop. I. am. tired.  As with other deployments, for the first few weeks/months, sleep just doesn't come easy. It is almost 1 am and I am still awake. My body is telling me to sleep but, for some reason I can't put my finger on, I just don't want to lay down. This is what happens every night. Eventually sleep wins. I wake up in the morning and hit the ground running.

I have been quite surprised at how much easier this has been than I expected. I know that there will be low points but I haven't hit one yet. Praise God! Everyone offers to take the girls (friends and family) but I feel so guilty. I know there are going to be rough weeks ahead and I am storing up my favors for those times. I am so blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends (who I am finding are more and more amazing the longer I know them) and Seth's family. Sherlyn is a true Godsend. I couldn't have asked for a better mother-in-law. Who am I kidding? I couldn't have married into a better family. I have said this to Seth many times: I am so glad that Seth's family treats me as one of their own. Being around them is so natural.

Wow. This post is all over the place. I am sure it has to do with the late hour at which I am writing. :) Why don't I slow down? I keep asking myself this. Why don't I just stay home with the girls one day and relax? I don't really know the answer. Maybe there is a part of me that is waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the emotions to overtake me. Why haven't they? The only One I can attribute my calmness and emotionallessness (I am positive that is not a word) to is God. He keeps me sane. He knows what I need. He knows what my girls need. He provides. It is really truly that simple.

Before we found out that Seth was getting deployed, I joined a Bible study on prayer. One day we broke up into small groups and talked about being anxious. I realized at that point that I am one of the least anxious people that I know. I am, by no means, perfect (and I definitely have my "moments") but I know that no matter what happens in this life, He is there to hold us. At moments like these, that is such a comforting thought. I am so grateful that He has given me such peace.

While Seth is away on his vacation (haha) working, I have made a commitment to myself to get back in shape. This is one of my "keeping busy" mechanisms. Three days/week, I go to Jazzercise in the morning (I love, love, love it) and the other two days/week, I have started to go to the YMCA with a friend of mine. *On a side note: Did you know that if your spouse is deployed, your YMCA membership is FREE (including child care!!).* Woo Hoo! I love saving money! :) I have noticed a huge difference in my muscular tone and a slight difference in my endurance. It is a lot of fun to see these changes taking place after only a month of working out regularly. Seth has been working out quite a bit more also. I guess all we needed was a deployment to get us in shape. Sheesh.

Ok. I have rambled enough. I am tired and must try to get to sleep. I actually get to sleep in tomorrow (yes, my girls sleep til 8-9 am!) since I am taking an afternoon class at the Y (instead of in the morning). I know that there aren't many of you that read this, but for those of you who do, I appreciate all of the many prayers during this time of separation.

I will leave you with this:

The girls got new "big girl" beds and were
really excited about it.

Teachable Moments

What a day. What. a. day. I am exhausted, both mentally & physically. I had quite the humbling (?) experience today. I will not go into all of the details but I will say that God really showed me something about my character today (and in a big way!) At the end of the day I was left feeling a little embarrassed and a lot exhausted. I am so grateful that God revealed to me what was really going on and I can now work on it to be a better person, mother, daughter, and wife.

We encounter these "teachable" moments many times in our lives (many times daily!). I have learned that it is only in deciding to actually learn from them that we grow and mature into a better person. I am so happy to be the daughter of the greatest Teacher.

Ok. Well, this is a pretty boring post but I just thought I would say a few words. Why? I don't know. I should really be asleep right now. haha

Life Takes It's Toll

Wow! It has been almost a year since I last sat down to type up a personal blog entry. Life takes it's toll. It comes at you fast and keeps going. There have been a lot of changes in the past year. We are back in KS (well, the girls and I, are back in KS -- more on that later), I am now a Scentsy consultant, and I run a personal blog detailing ways for everyday people to save money. I stay very busy.

Seth actually left for Afghanistan for the next year. Technically, he is in training in IN for a few weeks before he actually ships out but it is all the same to me -- he isn't here with me and the girls. Did I mention that life can be hard too? I'm not sure "hard" is the word I am looking for. Right now life is emotionally draining.

I miss Seth (a lot). When I sit down to dinner and his empty chair is there it is just a reminder of what I am missing. I actually had a moment the other day when we sat down for a spaghetti dinner that was reminiscent of a scene out of a movie. You know in a movie where someone has died or they are gone and the other person is missing them so they imagine them being there? Kind of like a "mirage". They see their smiling face and imagine them doing everyday things. I looked at Seth's seat at the kitchen table and could imagine him sitting there rolling the dice playing a game of Yahtzee with me (yep, we play Yahtzee. We're old. haha).It only lasted a moment before I was interrupted by the sound of my girls screaming in the background.Back to reality.

Along with deployments come a whole gamut of emotions. There are days when I am ok and there are days when it is harder. Lately I have been sleeping with a shirt that Seth left behind. It smells like him. It makes me feel like he is close to me. Have I mentioned that I love my husband. :-) I am so glad that I can support him in this time during his military career. I know it is hard for him too. He misses these girls (and I know he misses me too but it is different).

The hardest thing about all of this is not being able to fully understand what our girls are feeling right now. It is a little funny, actually. They are already learning to milk this deployment for all it's worth. Anytime they get in trouble, they say, "I miss my daaaaadddddyyyyy.". Um, no way! I am sure they do miss him but they can't do things they would normally get disciplined for and pull the "Daddy" card so as to not get into trouble. Really? I wasn't born yesterday.

God has really blessed our little family. He knows what we need before we know. We prayed about Seth's career for many months (actually, years) before he got his orders for Afghanistan. Strangely, we know this is where God wants him right now. I am at peace with it. It doesn't always make it easier (or make me any less tired) but it is what it is. There are lots of things that lead us to believe this is where we are supposed to be at this point in our lives. Seth was able to be "off work" for almost four months before he left. That was a great time.

Sorry for the rambling tonight. It is late and quite honestly, there was really no forethought to this entry. I just decided that now is as good of time as ever to jump back in. Seth has started his own blog also. So, if you are really bored you can compare our lives along this journey.

Papios (as Kailee used to say.) Transalation: Adios!