Life Takes It's Toll

Wow! It has been almost a year since I last sat down to type up a personal blog entry. Life takes it's toll. It comes at you fast and keeps going. There have been a lot of changes in the past year. We are back in KS (well, the girls and I, are back in KS -- more on that later), I am now a Scentsy consultant, and I run a personal blog detailing ways for everyday people to save money. I stay very busy.

Seth actually left for Afghanistan for the next year. Technically, he is in training in IN for a few weeks before he actually ships out but it is all the same to me -- he isn't here with me and the girls. Did I mention that life can be hard too? I'm not sure "hard" is the word I am looking for. Right now life is emotionally draining.

I miss Seth (a lot). When I sit down to dinner and his empty chair is there it is just a reminder of what I am missing. I actually had a moment the other day when we sat down for a spaghetti dinner that was reminiscent of a scene out of a movie. You know in a movie where someone has died or they are gone and the other person is missing them so they imagine them being there? Kind of like a "mirage". They see their smiling face and imagine them doing everyday things. I looked at Seth's seat at the kitchen table and could imagine him sitting there rolling the dice playing a game of Yahtzee with me (yep, we play Yahtzee. We're old. haha).It only lasted a moment before I was interrupted by the sound of my girls screaming in the background.Back to reality.

Along with deployments come a whole gamut of emotions. There are days when I am ok and there are days when it is harder. Lately I have been sleeping with a shirt that Seth left behind. It smells like him. It makes me feel like he is close to me. Have I mentioned that I love my husband. :-) I am so glad that I can support him in this time during his military career. I know it is hard for him too. He misses these girls (and I know he misses me too but it is different).

The hardest thing about all of this is not being able to fully understand what our girls are feeling right now. It is a little funny, actually. They are already learning to milk this deployment for all it's worth. Anytime they get in trouble, they say, "I miss my daaaaadddddyyyyy.". Um, no way! I am sure they do miss him but they can't do things they would normally get disciplined for and pull the "Daddy" card so as to not get into trouble. Really? I wasn't born yesterday.

God has really blessed our little family. He knows what we need before we know. We prayed about Seth's career for many months (actually, years) before he got his orders for Afghanistan. Strangely, we know this is where God wants him right now. I am at peace with it. It doesn't always make it easier (or make me any less tired) but it is what it is. There are lots of things that lead us to believe this is where we are supposed to be at this point in our lives. Seth was able to be "off work" for almost four months before he left. That was a great time.

Sorry for the rambling tonight. It is late and quite honestly, there was really no forethought to this entry. I just decided that now is as good of time as ever to jump back in. Seth has started his own blog also. So, if you are really bored you can compare our lives along this journey.

Papios (as Kailee used to say.) Transalation: Adios!