One of THOSE days...

Wow! Has it ever been a long day? I am asking myself, once again, why I am still up. Sheesh...

The day started off great! My friend, Catherine, called me to ask if I wanted to drive up to the outlet mall with her in Gilroy. I have put our family on a VERY STRICT budget for the next few weeks but I thought it would be fun to go up and hang out for a while. The girls were great, I had a nice time chatting with Catherine, and we got to eat at In & Out Burger!! Woo Hoo! I had never had their food and it was amazing! I definitely recommend you go there sometime if you get the opportunity. You can find their "location finder" here.

Again, let me stress how good the girls were today. We had a great time...We got home and I put Sophia down for a nap (she only slept about 30 minutes in the car) and Kailee and I started to lay down together. Then I realized that Seth had a meeting at 4:00 (Catherine had told me about this in passing -- her husband and Seth are in the same company at DLI) and I didn't get the usual call from Seth requesting a ride from one side of post to the others o I decided to call him. It was 8 minutes til 4 and his response was "Oh crap!" Great! He had forgotten about his meeting. I rush out to the car, put in the car seats (I rode with Catherine to Gilroy this morning), get the girls back up and head out the door. Whew!

We pick up Seth and drop him off on the other side of post making him only about 10 minutes late instead of 30 or 40 minutes late. Now, I was determined to get the girls down for a nap and maybe sneak in a little shut-eye myself; only to realize that it just wasn't in the cards today. Sophia (who usually sleeps REALLY well) just wouldn't go to sleep, she kept crying. Ugh. So, after about 20 minutes of listening to her cry I decided to go ahead to Wal-mart to try to return a few things and to Marshall's to see if they have the costume Kailee wants for Halloween. It went straight down hill from here!

Let's just say that we never made it in Marshall's, they wouldn't take my broken merchandise back at Wal-mart (who knew Wal-mart had a 90 day return policy-- I guess I'll be sticking with Target after all), and Kailee about drove me over the edge! It was insane. She just wouldn't listen! I don't know what got into her! I swear she was taken over...it was a BATTLE even getting back home. Thank God Seth decided not to stay late tonight (like he usually does on Wednesdays) or else I may have lost my mind! Ok, so, not really but I sure felt like it!

By the end of the night I felt like I was going to pull my hair out. Seth had a little studying to do so I went to Seattle's Best and got a hot chocolate (THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!) and proceeded to Marshall's and Target to look for Kailee's Halloween costume. It is amazing how hard it is to find a pirate costume for a 3 year old that doesn't have skulls and crossbones all over it. I never did find a costume but I had a nice relaxing time out.

As I went in a few minutes ago to check on the girls, I felt this overpowering wave of guilt come over me. I spent so much time "yelling" at Kailee and punishing her the last 1/2 of the day; and I was so upset at her...What is wrong with me?? She is my baby girl!? I knelt beside her bed tonight as she slept and I ran my fingers through her hair telling her "I'm sorry" all the while praying for God to give me patience and a gentle reminder that these girls are only on "loan" to me. He has entrusted them into my care and I need to cherish that. Does that mean that Kailee will not be disciplined any more? No, definitely not! But it does mean that I am going to try to look at her rock instead of the computer screen when she asks (even though I have already seen it 1/2 dozen times!), I will read Sophia the book she has been toting around asking me to read (in her own special "I can only say two words at a time" way) to her instead of folding the laundry, errr...I mean sweeping the floors. (the same laundry has been on the back of the couch for 2 days. Whoops!) I love my girls. They are my life! I need to remember to slow down and enjoy them -- not see them as a burden or a headache. I don' t do this enough!

So, I have learned my lesson for this day and I REALLY am holding back the urge to pick Kailee up (my little girl who is growing so quickly) and rock her for a while...Remember that a day isn't something to get through, it is something to be LIVED!

Good night world! I will continue to pray that tomorrow will be better. I am not perfect but I can definitely be a good mother to my children -- with the help and love of Christ.